


My Freedom is with You

by hallow777



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:51:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4182255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallow777/pseuds/hallow777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Where is Laura?"<br/>When Carmilla wakes up from a two year coma after being poisoned in a fight with the latest monster trying to take over the campus, she has one main question that quickly gets answered for her, but is Mattie telling the whole truth?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Freedom is with You

**Author's Note:**

> This is set somewhere around what I imagine to be the end of season 2.

The moment Carmilla opened her eyes, dread settled in the pit of her stomach. Her eyes scanned across the bedroom she was in, it was familiar to her as it was another one of Maman’s houses, but it wasn’t the one she had been staying in with Laura and the others.

Laura.

Where was Laura?

She tried to jump up out of bed but extremely sore and stiff muscles kept her from moving too quickly. How long had she been asleep? It must have been a while, judging by how stiff she was. As she struggled to sit up, a mini fridge next to the bed caught her eye. 

It took a lot longer than she would like to admit for her to get her uncooperative muscles to function enough to sit on the side of the bed so she could reach into the fridge for a bag of blood. There was a cup on top of the fridge but she didn’t bother using it, she just sunk her fangs right into the bag.

Within seconds of puncturing the bag, Mattie appeared before her in a puff of smoke.

“Finally among the moving again, are we?” she drawled, taking in the sight of Carmilla on the side of the bed, “with no one else here right now, I knew it had to be you when I smelled blood.”

The sight of her sister did nothing to help the dread in Carmilla’s stomach. She was mostly certain Mattie wouldn’t harm her, but it was well known Mattie wasn’t fond of Laura so if she was here, Laura wasn’t. So where was she?

She didn’t want to voice that question yet, for fear of the answer and she had learned long ago it was just best to play it cool around Mattie, “God,” she groaned out, “how long have I been lying here?”

She thought it was a simple question, enough to get Mattie talking so maybe she didn’t have to ask any other specific questions but the grin Mattie gave her made shivers go down her spine.

“Not long at all really.”

“Good,” Carmilla let out a sigh but then immediately sucked in air she didn’t need as Mattie started talking again.

“Well for us at least. Two years is just a blink of the eye to me but I guess to the humans you used to hang around, it would seem longer.”

Two years? She had been asleep for two years? What had happened? The last thing she remembered was fighting with their new threat of the semester and then… pain? and poison, maybe? Even with the blood she just drank, her memories weren’t clearing up much.

But if she lost a fight two years ago then…

_Laura._

She would be in her third year now. She would be graduating next year most likely. She’d probably already forgotten all about her old sleeping vampire roommate. Two years was a long time for a human. 

If she was even still alive…

Carmilla looked up at Mattie who was still looking down on her, no doubt enjoying all the emotions that had flashed across her face. It didn’t matter what Mattie thought anymore, she had to know about Laura.

“Mattie, tell me. Please. What happened to Laura?”

Mattie’s grin got even wider and Carmilla’s heart sank.

“Oh, Kitty cat. I hate to be the bearer of bad news- no wait, who am I kidding? I love being the bearer of bad news. Anyway, sorry but that juicebox you called a girlfriend? She died during the fight. From what I heard, she got pushed into the pit where that stupid fish finally got free from. Landed at the bottom with a very satisfying crunch-”

It was all Carmilla could do to curl in on herself, bringing her knees up to her chest before the tears started falling down her face. Mattie was still talking, she was sure, but she couldn’t take anymore. It had finally happened, all the times she had been around to save Laura, there was finally one time she wasn’t. 

Laura was dead, because of her.

Carmilla was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice that Mattie was trying to get her attention until Mattie finally gave up and, rather roughly, grabbed her chin and made her look at her, “My, my. Kitten, you did have it bad for this girl, didn’t you? No matter, you’ll go on just like you always do after your failed attempts at love. I really don’t know why you even try. Especially with humans.” 

Carmilla snarled up at her but Mattie didn’t pay her any attention, “That human wasn’t worth you anyway, though I don’t know if anyone would be good enough for my precious little sister. Certainly not that sad worthless little-” Mattie didn’t get to finish as Carmilla had had enough and reached out to claw her face but Mattie was still faster and caught her hand before she could do any damage, squeezing hard enough Carmilla was sure her wrist was going to snap.

Mattie let her pull her arm free after a few seconds and then Carmilla laid back on the bed, turning her back to her sister. Normally, she would never dare do that, she never knew what Mattie would really be willing to do to her but she didn’t care anymore. Laura was gone and that’s all that mattered. The ginger twins were probably gone too, not that she would admit to caring about them but they had started to grow on her a little bit. 

If they lost though, the entire campus was probably overrun with monsters of various kinds. All the humans would be gone by now. Either left for home, or dead. Most likely dead.

“Oh you are absolutely ridiculous, I can not believe you. I take it back, you aren’t even a kitten. You are just a love sick little puppy. I don’t even know why I still consider you family. Disgusting,” Mattie stormed out of the room, mostly for show, if she was truly mad she would have just disappeared from the room but she liked the dramatic touch. Carmilla really didn’t care at this point. 

She honestly didn’t know how she would go on right now. She would, of course, in time but it was bad enough with Elle. This time, her feelings were even stronger. Mattie was right. She was pathetic and disgusting and she let this happen all over again but unlike last time, she didn’t regret it.

She didn’t regret a single moment she had had with Laura, and if memories were all she would have left, she was going to cherish them. 

Carmilla continued to lay in the bed, starting to think back to the first few days she and Laura had spent together when she started hearing heavy and fast foot steps getting closer and closer to the room she was in until suddenly the door was flung open and someone rushed into the room.

In the span of just a few seconds, Carmilla went through a range of emotions. Disbelief, happiness, confusion, realization, anger, rage, and then finally defeated. 

“Oh ha ha, real funny Mattie!” she shouted as loud as she could so the vampire would hear it wherever she may have walked off to, then she turned her attention to the woman who was now standing at the foot of the bed smiling down at her though she was obviously a bit confused, “look, I don’t know what Mattie did to you to make you look like Laura but I can still smell you, you’re a vampire. She told me Laura was dead and I need to move on and this is one of Mattie’s ridiculous jokes but can you please just leave me alone?” 

“Carm…” God, she even sounded like her too. Mattie would pay for this, eventually. When she was past the grief enough to be pissed off. Carmilla pulled the pillow from under her head and pushed it down around her face, trying to block out the sight, sound, and smell of whatever lackey Mattie had sent to torture her.

“Carm…” she said again, as she tried to gently pull the pillow away from the vampire’s face, “Carm, please, just listen to me.”

She reached out to touch Carmilla’s hand and that was all Carmilla could take. Quickly, Carmilla pulled her down and flipped her around so that she was on top of her, holding her down to the bed, getting right in her face, “If you don’t leave now I will kill you. I don’t care how much you look like Laura, you are seriously pissing me off right now.” 

The vampire who looked like Laura just smiled up at her with that adorable little smile that Laura always used to do and despite the rather impressive angry face she was sure she was making, the Laura look alike wasn’t even scared. 

She was torn, she wanted this to actually be Laura so bad but on the other hand, she didn’t. 

Because then that would mean that sweet, human Laura wasn’t so sweet and human anymore and that was something she never wanted for her. 

But it was that little part of her that wanted to believe that got her to open her mouth, “You’ve got ten second to explain.”

And explain she did, “Okay, so I don’t know what Mattie told you or how much she told you but she was right, I kinda did die. Okay well not kinda. I did die. After you went unconscious because of the poison I was taken for fish food but then Lophi got out and went after everyone else and I thought it was all clear and then some minions pushed me into the pit where Lophi used to be and all I remember was falling and falling until suddenly I hit the ground and everything cracked and crunched-” at this point, Carmilla rolled off her and tried to get her to stop but she just kept going since she didn’t need to stop for air anymore, “-and then when I opened my eyes I could see the sword sticking through me. The one you worked so hard to get before and I’m still not really sure but Lafontaine thinks that it absorbed some of your blood when you used it against your mother then it went inside of me when I, uh, landed on it? Mattie says it shouldn’t have worked like that but when I woke up next I was, well, a vampire so I don’t really know for sure what happened. Then I got to do what you like to call ‘heroic vampire crap’ and save the day.”

By now, Carmilla was on her back, staring at the ceiling while Laura was on her side staring at Carmilla.

“How do I know it’s really you? I thought you were dead, how do I know this isn’t some ridiculously cruel trick Mattie or someone else is playing on me? How do I know Laura, the real Laura, isn’t at the bottom of that pit? What about the ginger twins? And Xena? Why aren’t they here? If you are truly still my Laura.”

Laura looked at her thoughtfully for a minute before answering, “I don’t really know if I’m even me anymore. So much has happened, but I am still Laura Hollis, journalism student who is always getting into some mess one way or another but at least now I have some skills to help get me out? Will asking me questions only I know make you feel better? Ask me anything. Oh and Lafontaine and Perry aren’t here because its the middle of the day and they have classes. And Danny is busy with some summer society thing, plus something weird is going on between her and Mattie so she’s been avoiding the house for a while now. Give them time though, once they sense we are having a moment they will pop up, I’m sure.”

The fact that she had admitted that she wasn’t sure of herself pretty much sealed the deal for Carmilla but she wanted to ask questions to be sure anyway.

“What was the first thing I said to you?”

“You said ‘Hey.’ but that’s kinda general so the next thing you said after I asked who the hell you were, was ‘I’m your new roommate, cutie.”

Carmilla had turned on her side to look at Laura and couldn’t keep the smile off her face as Laura did her best impression of her, “What kind of charm did I give you, what was it for, and where did you hide it?”

“Dried bat wing charm to keep your mother’s creepy dreams away and I hid it under your mattress. Well, first I put it under my mattress then thought better of it and put it under yours, but I don’t think you knew that.”

Carmilla spent a few silent minutes just looking into the other girl’s eyes, looking for any sign that she was lying or not being truthful in anyway but she found nothing but happiness and fondness in them. With a sigh, Carmilla rolled over and pulled herself out of bed, her sore stiff muscles from a while ago were a thing of the past, and started pacing the floor at the foot of the bed. Laura took this time to sit up from her horizontal position to lean against the headboard so she could watch her pace, waiting patiently for her to be ready to talk. It was a lot to take in, being asleep for two years and having your girlfriend turned into a vampire while you were asleep. That poison should have killed her, she was lucky it only put her in a coma for as long as it did.

A few minutes of pacing and running her hand through her her hair later, Carmilla finally stopped and looked at Laura with a heavy sigh.

“I never wanted this for you. I never wanted you to become like me, like… this,” she kept herself from saying like a monster because she could never see Laura like that, “I was the one who was supposed to protect you. Not the other way around.”

Carmilla slammed her fist down on the wooden bedpost next to her in frustration, very nearly splintering the old wood, “We were supposed to enjoy your college years together then you were supposed to go off on some new adventure, forgetting about me and moving on with your life. You were supposed to go off and find someone else, a human, and grow old together with them like every other human I could ever stand to be around. You weren’t supposed to change. You weren’t supposed to be chained to me for eternity, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

Laura tried her best not to be offended or hurt, but a little sadness and anger still seeped into her voice as she spoke up, “First of all, do you really think I care so little for you that I would leave you after college? That this was just some kind of weird crazy college girls gone wild phase or something? We clearly had vastly different plans for our futures and I guess we probably should have talked about that at some point, but when did we ever have a chance?” 

“Yes, you have-or had- human things you wanted to do. Human society goals to accomplish. Plus, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly cut out for long term relationships.”

“Human goals? Like what? The standard get married and have two kids before I’m an old hag at the ripe old age of twenty-nine thing?” Laura gave her an incredulous look when she just shrugged and looked down, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but my lack of attraction to the opposite sex kind of already nips society’s expectations of me in the bud there.” 

That got a smile out of Carmilla which in turn got one from Laura but then she turned serious, they needed to get some things out in the open before some other disaster comes along and keeps them from talking again. 

“Carm, look at me,” she looked up from the rather fascinating spot on the bed she had been focusing on so she didn’t have to look Laura in the face to see a determined but amazing smile on her face, “I love you. Like, I really, really love you and I want to be with you and I think that scares you but that’s okay. I loved you when I was human, that hasn’t changed. I would have waited for you to be ready when I was human and I will certainly wait for you now.”

There were tears forming in Carmilla’s eyes, though she would never admit it to anyone, this girl understood her, maybe even better than she understands herself.

“I know you didn’t want this for me and to be honest, I didn’t know if I wanted this before either but it happened and I was able to save you, our friends, and the whole campus and that is something I will never regret.” 

Laura slid off the bed and approached her, taking her hands in her own before speaking again, “I also know that the thought of commitment, especially when it comes to vampire commitment, scares you because it could literally last for centuries and the only long lasting commitment you have had is with your mother and we all know how that turned out. Carmilla, I don’t want you to be trapped anymore. You’ve been trapped so long, be free.”

“Laura…”

“I love you so much, I’m willing to let you go,” it was Laura’s turn to start tearing up now but she didn’t want to let go of her hands to wipe them away, “I’m not saying that it will be easy for me or that I won’t miss you and I know full well that you could find some other journalist student to drive you nuts while you are gone and maybe you will find that you do prefer humans that don’t end up getting themselves turned into vampires but I won’t stand in your way. You deserve to be happy, even if it’s not with me.” 

Carmilla was not one for all the touchy feely crap people normally did but she couldn’t help but pull Laura into her arms for a hug. She never ceased to amaze her. This young woman was willing to let her go if that’s what she wanted, even though it meant she would be alone to navigate the complicated ways of vampireness. 

She loved her all the more for it.

Oh god, she did loved her.

Of course she cared for her and liked her and their relationship had been steadily progressing before the latest disaster and her forced two year nap, but she had never thought she could truly love someone. Not after what happened with Elle. 

But here she was. Loving someone who could actually spend the rest of her very long life with her and if she was honest, it was a terrifying thought.

Laura was right, she needed to be free. 

At least for a while, if Laura was really being honest with her, she would still be waiting for her when she got back. Carmilla really didn’t want to do this to her, it didn’t seem fair, but she had spent far too long under Maman’s rule to be tied down to anyone or anything right now.

And then a thought occurred to her, “Your offer is nice and all, cupcake, but there is still the little problem of Maman’s minions still being out there and now being under the control of whoever is in charge now. It’s not like they are just going to let me roam the world peacefully.”

Laura pulled back from her embrace a bit to smile up at her, “That won’t be a problem. There is a new person in charge of this particular clan and they will order everyone to leave you alone. The other clans won’t have a reason to bother you.”

“Well look at you, talking like you know how all this vampire crap works now, “ Carmilla teased then her eyes softened as she stroked Laura’s hair, pushing it back behind her ear, “I’m sorry you had to go through this alone. I should have been there at the very least, to help you go through the change.”

“It would have been nice, sure, but I made it through. The first couple of days were spent fighting and taking care of everything and then apparently I passed out and slept for a week, completely freaked everyone out, then when I woke up it seemed the worst had passed. And I had Mattie there to help. Though really all she said to me for the first two months was various forms of ‘That’s not how that works.’ and ‘That’s not supposed to happen.’” 

Carmilla looked down at her with an eyebrow raised, “Mattie helped you? I find that kind of hard to believe. You are cute, creampuff, but Mattie hates everyone and barely tolerates me.”

“She’s uh, she’s very intense, but she helped enough. I think I might actually be growing on her.” 

A reply of “In your dreams” was heard from somewhere down the hall, causing them both to chuckle then Laura placed her head back on Carmilla’s chest and held her tighter.

They stayed like that for a while before Carmilla pulled away again and with a determined expression, took Laura’s face in her hands so she could really look at her again, “are you sure you will be okay here, without me?” 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve been asleep for two years and I somehow managed to stay alive.Well, okay not alive but I’m still here. I will be fine. Plus, it’s almost summer break. I’ll be heading out of here and down to my dad’s how much trouble can I get into there?”

“Do you think you can hide the fact that you are a vampire from him during the whole summer?”

At that Laura looked a bit sheepish, “Um about that. He kind of already knows?” 

“Seriously? I would have loved to have seen his face when he found out. I guess he took it well since you are going down to see him again?”

“At first he didn’t take it well at all. He had originally found my videos and came down to the university to talk to me about all the crazy risks I was taking but he got here right after things were starting to cool down after the fight so then my videos were nothing compared to finding out I was a vampire now and then finding out I was a vampire was nothing compared to him seeing my mom again.”

Wait, what?

“I thought your mom died a lot time ago, in a bear attack? Wasn’t that the purpose of all the bear spray he sends?” 

“Yeah, about that. They never did find a body. Just a lot of blood and bear tracks so we just assumed, you know? Turns out there was a bear and it did kill her but someone happened to find her, one of your mom’s people. They turned her and took her, she was twenty five at the time, apparently your mom was grooming her to either take over your job or to watch over you.”

“Wow… that’s…”

“I know, right? Who would have thought. Just think, if I had never met you, I’d never have gotten to meet my mother again. Plus, now that all this has happened, my dad doesn’t have much of an argument against me dating a vampire since two third of our little family are vampires now. So you are welcome to come join us this summer, if you want.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I think we should hold off on meeting the parents just yet. I don’t… I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“And that’s okay,” Laura had more to say but they were interrupted by more feet pounding down the hallway until the door opened once again and a flying Lafontaine was suddenly in Carmilla’s arms followed by a more subdued but still equally happy to see her Perry.

Like usual, she didn’t get much more alone time with Laura except for a small amount of time before they both went to sleep where she told her she wanted to take off tomorrow to go see the world and be free. Laura, of course, was sad to see her go but also happy she was finally taking control of her life.

The next morning was full of goodbyes and promises to be back. Laura kissed her goodbye one more time and then stepped back so the others could say goodbye to her. Laura knew she would still be around whenever Carmilla got back, but depending on how long it took, Lafontaine and Perry might not be so she let them have their moments with Carmilla, despite how awkward it was for them. The humans had grown on her quite a bit and she on them, despite Perry’s insistence on being normal.

It was hard to leave them behind, but finally Carmilla pulled herself away from the group, transforming into her giant cat form and taking off through the forest knowing that eventually there was a train station on the other side she wanted to get to. 

The feeling of finally being truly free was odd but enjoyable for her, she didn’t think she’d ever been this free before. Even before being turned there was always things she didn’t particularly care for that she was forced to do, expectations forced on her.

Carmilla took off to many places, exploring some new places and places she had been too before but couldn’t enjoy because of Maman.

It took exactly thirty four days for her to realize what she really wanted though.

She did want to be free, yes, but it wasn’t the kind of freedom she had previously dreamed of before. She wanted to be free to explore and do what she wanted.

But now she had someone she wanted to be free with.

She could wait to explore the world a little longer if it meant getting to explore it with Laura by her side. Laura wanted to be a journalist, exploring new things, places, and stories was what she wanted to do. After Laura graduated- because she was certain Laura would still want that, vampire or not- they could go together.

Thirty six days after Carmilla had said goodbye, Laura opened the door of her childhood home to find a grinning Carmilla on the other end and welcomed her in without question.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: This is part of a much larger idea I was playing around with in my head but then it got to be too much and I had to write this part down. The other bits were a bit crazy that only I would be interested in. 
> 
> Laura's mom as a vampire is something I've been thinking about lately.
> 
> Also, did I hint that there might be something between Mattie and Danny?? Maybe. Can you imagine that pairing though? It would be amazing.


End file.
